English

There are thousands of songs dedicated to one's "homeland". Now, dear diary, questionless Korea is my homeland; I am proud to be a Korean, I shall always be a Korean, and I love my dear Korea. Korean is my mother tongue, and Korean blood flows through my veins. It was in Korea I was born, and in Korea I drew my first breath: I am Korean through and through.

Yet I spent seven years of my childhood in America, and, oh! They were the sweetest seven years! English is the language which I truly adore and emulate; Korean and Hangul is most worthy, but 'tis not the one I am most comfortable with. I get sick of hearing Korean in my ears all day; I feel dry, and withered, like a well of once fresh, brimming water which is now but a dry cistern. I long to live in a place where the music of English is always in my ears, where I can go to libraries and read in English, where I can learn English, and...

Little as I seem to feel, feeble as my talent for English is (which is obvious just by reading this blog :/), I do love English - passionately! I love its literature, especially its beautiful novels...and every time I see a year go by in which I have learned nothing new of English, I feel as if I am falling behind all my peers in what I desperately wish to succeed, and that I will never be a writer - that my dreams will never come true - that I will never truly learn real English, real English literature.

I hope these are not wicked thoughts. I am happy, very happy with my present lot; but a sweet strain of music, a certain fragrance, or even a glimpse of a few words makes my heart thrill with sadness for America, and to learn English. Dear God, please, won't you let me go to America soon? - It's been five years since I last breathed its air and listened to its language, spoken by Americans; I have barely been able to remember, retain it by Your grace; but I wish to learn more. Please let me see America again, and learn English more.